Long Relationship is Long (aka, Happy 3rd Anniversary!)

So, my three-year anniversary with Terrell (my boyfriend, for you slow readers out there) is September 3rd - today! Well, okay, technically it's tomorrow, but we didn't realize that until after celebrating our second anniversary on the 3rd. And besides, what really matters is that we're together at all, considering everything we went through beforehand (and everything that's happened after).

We met on August 24, 2006 - I know this because it was the day I moved into my dorm room as a freshman in college. We lived on the same floor, he in one wing and I in the other. Our college experience in general was rather different from the norm, being that a good majority of the people who lived on our floor that year became good friends (and remain so today). I developed a crush on Terrell a little bit after Thanksgiving, when both my mom and best friend from home pointed out that he was cute and I should go after him. That crush was harbored in secret until around February, when it became obvious to (at least) my roommate.

After discussing it with her at length, I did something rather uncharacteristic of me. I approached him one night in the floor lounge as he was reading and told him straight up that I liked him. This, of course, was something I had never done before. He said he already figured as much, we hugged, and that was the beginning of several long and torturous months of the most retarded game of cat and mouse in the history of ever. I continued to pursue him, he continued to evade me, we continued to annoy the living crap out of anyone who spent more than 5 minutes with us. You ever play "tickle fight" with someone just to get a chance to touch them? Yeah, that was us. Every. Day. I finally cornered him one night not long before spring break and asked him how he felt and he uttered the single most idiotic phrase in the history of stupid boy phrases:

"I like you, but not enough to date you." Upon reading this part, he protested "In my defense, I was trying to be nice. I was!" Cue me punching him.

So, that went about as well as you can imagine (read: me, in a stairwell crying my eyes out and babbling incoherently to my mother over the phone). I tried one more time to get him to admit his obvious feelings for me, and then gave up. Sort of. After moving back home for the summer, we began a daily ritual of talking online for hours. Because neither of us had anything better to do and I am a complete insomniac without a rigid schedule, we would often stay up all night talking to each other and "watch" the sun rise together (yeah, I am totally aware of how ridiculously cheesy that sounds). Around July, I realized that I was kind of in love with him. Considering he is the only person I have loved in my life, that's a rather presumptuous statement to make. But looking back, I know it's pretty much true. Something certainly changed between us during the course of that summer.

When we returned to school, once more living on the same floor (in case anyone's wondering, it was a themed living community that we all signed up for to be able to live together again). And it was so, so painfully obvious how much he liked me. Before, I had a small blip of doubt in the back of my mind. But he hung all over me like... something that hangs onto something else, and around Labor Day I was fed up with it. After spending two hours in the common room leaning as close together as possible and playing "handsy" during Back to the Future on September 3, I ranted to my roommate that I was going to confront him the next day and either force it out of him or tell him to back off and let me move on.

I was interrupted by the sound of an IM from my computer. It was from Terrell, and said, "Come hither."

(Yes, we are very special people.)

I walked down to his room, and listened as he finally confessed what I and everyone else in the tri-state area already knew: he had feelings for me. Cue a chorus of "awwwww". We talked for a while then hugged for a longer while, as his roommate, Allison, and her roommate listened through the door. Creepers. And that was pretty much that. Well, okay, it wasn't until two days later that he let me make it official on Facebook. And then it took another day for us to kiss for the first time (but hey, it was his first so it was probably worth the wait). The night we put it on Facebook, I am told no fewer than five different people exclaimed, "Finally!"

Finally, indeed. And now, here we are, three years later. There have been good times, there have been bad times, and there have been many strange and dorktastic times. Before Terrell, I never imagined myself being in a long-term relationship at this age. I never really imagined myself in any relationship at all, to be perfectly honest. But I am, and it really is quite wonderful. I never really thought I could be with someone and remain completely true to myself. I spend an awful lot of my time hiding the parts of my personality I think people won't want to see, and end up feeling rather compartmentalized. Only three people exist in this world who have seen every part of me, and miraculously they still love me for it. (Which should probably teach me a lesson about just being myself no matter what, but that's not what this post is for or about, so let's move on...) Terrell is the one person who always makes me feel 100% like myself. I can't even try to hide from him - somehow, he can always see me.

So, Terrell: for all the weird times, the good times, the hugs, the kisses, the Mario Kart games, the amazing meals, the countless shoulders to cry on and rides to and from places, and especially the laughs over the past three years, I say thank you. Thanks for always being there for me, and thanks for helping me to be all the parts of me, good and bad. Happy anniversary -- let's try not to kill each other between now and next year so we can have another one.