Dare you to move

I feel strange today.

Something inside of me is yearning for... more. I don't know what, but I feel like everything I need and want is just beyond my grasp. If only I could reach it.

I feel good. Walked from home to campus this morning and it was a beautiful walk. I feel strong. I am ready for change, ready to move on, ready to live again.

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We're only taking turns holdings this world. It's how it's always been; when you're older, you will understand.

The Fray

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I wanna dance a tango with chance

I miss singing. The endorphins it brings are quite unlike anything else, and I wonder sometimes if my level of happiness might be consistently higher if I spent more time singing than talking. Pity I decided to take a semester off from choir, but I suppose it was for the best in light of my recent health issues. Stupid blood clots. Stupid swine flu. Stupid lack of immune system...

Fall is here. I walked through a sea of leaves on my way home today, the scent of autumn heavy in the air. I love this time of year so much, right before it gets too cold to really enjoy a walk without bundling up. Crunching leaves under my feet, sun shining on my face--nothing could be better. And Halloween is on Saturday!

I managed the entire route from campus to my apartment for the first time since I got sick. It has only been two weeks, but feels like a lifetime. Everything has changed so much and I'm still scrambling to figure out which way is up. *sigh* I'll get there. Things are starting to go back to some semblance of 'normal', or will be once I finally get caught up on all my school work.

Most days lately, I've been ready to throw the towel in. I would take a semester off if I could... well, I say that but the truth is I really wouldn't. It would feel too much like quitting. And I can't let myself quit--I can't allow myself to let go so easily of anything. I will succeed, I will claw my way back up. There is no other option.

But the sun shone brightly today, and I felt for the first time that things really will be all right.

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Now playing: Missy Higgins - Going North
via FoxyTunes

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